Monday, September 22, 2008

Malachi at 18 months --

Malachi has been home for 6 months now. He was wearing 9 months clothes when we met him and is now pushing his way out of 24 months... he is growing and seems so healthy now. With the kids back in school Malachi and I have had lots of time together and I can really tell a new level of bonding taking place. It was severly halted when I was sick and he stayed with my mom. She is still the love of his life, but at least now I am on his radar:) He is calling me "mama" now and will kiss us all freely. He loves to be touched and have his back patted and rubbed. He is beginning to settle in and loves the daily routine. I always thought when I got home with Malachi it would just feel so natural and just regular. However, if I am honest in a painful part of my heart, I must say for a long time I felt like I was babysitting someones else's baby. He was not comfortable with me and I could not comfort him the way a mother does. Now that is all changing and I do feel like he is my son and even forget all we have been through this past 6 months. I think sometimes this part of the story is lost in adoption and so I had no idea that this could happen and is actually quite normal. I am head over heels in love with him and can't imagine a day without him in our lives. The kids are still thinking he is just about the BEST thing in life and I often have to beg hugs off of them as Malachi gets most of the loving from them these days:) His litle giggle lights up our days and today my heart melted when I picked him up at church. They told him his mommy was here to pick him up and he ran as fast as he could towards the door with his arms lifted up high for me to pick him up... I had such warmth in my heart as I picked him up thinking, "Here is my is my baby boy!" .


Jo B. said...

Kimberly, thank you for sharing from your heart and writing honestly about your journey, even the "potholes and detours" that you encounter. You are an encouragement in so many ways. Malachi looks totally contented with life! Jo Bunch

Anonymous said...

Kimberly- Malachi is such a beautiful little man. Dustin has those same pjs. You are the best Mom and I want to be able to handle 5 children like you and still look beautiful and so full of the spirt. You are someone I so lookup to!

Have a blessed day!
Tammi Hagner

Anonymous said...

Thank God for you and your honesty. I have also felt, quite a bit actually, that I was watching someone else's child when I was caring for Elsa. Now, about the same 6-month mark as you, we are starting to turn the corner. She still doesn't call me Mama (I can't wait for that!) but she seems to be grasping the fact that I'm someone other than Caretaker #42. :-) And I'm feeling the same.

Jeanelle said...

I echo your sentiments - I finally stopped waiting for the "bonding" to "happen" and now it feels like we are getting somewhere. One of our travel group members said she felt like she was spending time with her favorite child at a daycare, not caring for her own child during those first few months. Even when you have a child who returns every smile with a loving grin, it doesn't always make the bond happen. I am glad you are feeling more like a mom. He's a beautiful boy!

paige said...


Thanks for sharing--you all had such a time of it in the beginning, it's so nice to hear that all of the pieces are falling into place.

Anonymous said...

what a sweet photo. And I appreciate what you shared. I felt some of htat--more in the I playing house sort of way... :) I am so glad you and he are getting some extra quality bonding time. I miss you!


Anonymous said...

Oh heart aches to see those kiddos and give them all a squeeze! Look at you, doing a marathon when we didn't even know where you'd be a few months ago. I am thankful and my heart is filling full and empty at the same time - full for all that God has done, and empty that we are missing you.

Take care!