My children are taking SAT's this week at school. Tonight at dinner we had a great conversation that quite frankly I felt a knot in my stomach as my son started to talk about it...but the knot was not needed and at this moment in time I found them to feel very secure in who they are.
My son asked what he should have filled-in for race on the test at school. I did not answer, but asked what he filled -in. With a smile he said African American and paused, then added, " You know I am half-African and half-American, so it fits..." Then my girls started to share their take on all of this. My 4th grader said she left it blank as it does not really matter.( just very matter of fact) Then my 3rd grader said in her class they told her to fill on one bubble for black and one for white. She thought the whole things was amusing. My 1st grader said her teacher would fill it in for her. She seemed uninterested in this whole topic. We had some good laughs and my 3rd grader decided next time she will mark "other".
I think what grabbed me is how they do not feel defined by any one of the bubbles and yet are so comfortable with who they are. I am sure it helps to have each other to bounce all of this off of. I know they will go through different times in their lives when it will matter more than now. I often think of dating and wondering what it will be like when my baby is the one someone does not want their son or daughter to date... it may matter more then. Hoping that through these conversations as we go that we can lessen any major self-esteem problems later in life. We do talk VERY openly about race in our home and since Aser grew up around the world his perspective is priceless. So for today I can sleep in peace on this one topic and am thankful that this is not a bubble I have to worry about. Character will be what defines them I hope and not what shade of brown they are.