Monday, April 13, 2009
Cozy-- feelin' it!!!
Easter was so special yesterday! We have so much to be thankful for. My brother Kary hosted us at his house and his wife filled us with amazingly delicious food. I am still enjoying the thoughts of it today. Church was challenging and I so never want to live a life with no passion. Because of God in my life I have EVERY reason to be passion-filled!!!!
Another huge change has been Malachi. He is so different now and finally relaxing in our family. He lets me hold him-- well for 30 seconds. He could not stand being close and now will come up to me while I am cooking and want me to hold him. He will say, "cozy!" and put his head and down and pat my back. The screaming is becoming unusual now and often we can humor him out of those times. It is hard on him when we change the schedule or go somewhere with lots of new people with stimulation. I can't believe how he relaxes his muscles when I pick him up and he does not posture away from me very often either. I get choked up just thinking how frightened he was coming home with us. He is a fighter and was not going to let himself love with ease. He was ready to protect himself and shut the world out. He is not that little boy anymore. He has been through so much. I love how he calls out, "mama.." over and over and stops the second I pick him up. He brings so many smiles to us and I am thrilled to see him accepting us now. Wow-- I can't tell you how big this is. I think I have blocked much of my sadness over his rejection at times as so many dreams and hopes seemed like they would not be possible this past year. I didn't expect it to be perfect and was always willing to work on whatever was placed in our lives during this adoption. But I feel so blessed to see the rainbow through the clouds now.
I wish you could hug him too--
ps-- the horse pictures are where Lydia is taking lessons. He loves to see those long-legged "dogs". It has been so cool because Lydia is now working to pay for her lessons. The owner of the farm says she started riding this way too and really wanted Lydia to keep riding. Lydia loves cleaning, hauling hay, manure, grooming and whatever else is asked of her. I almost think she enjoys this as much as the lessons. Being on the farm is what fills her soul and so it worth the time and driving to make this happen.