Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
I am ashamed to admit but I have not developed one picture before today of our time getting Malachi. I have been unable to look at his adoption papers and when I have had to reference them I put them away as quickly as I can. I have not been able to understand why I have had to distant myself from the beginning of his life. I am proud of his mother and her obvious fight for him. I have such vivid memories of Ethiopia as it was two of the most wonderful weeks of my life. I have not been able to put my finger on why. I hear of moms coming back and making scrapbooks and videos and I would only download some and by no means all I had. I have had it the CDs in a pile for a year now. Until today... that all changed! We printed off of 11 CDs at Costco and am getting ready to at least put them in a album. It is still so hard for me to process all Malachi has been through and that in his short life we are his 4th and final stop. His name when we picked him up was Gifiom. This means "victim" and was given by someone other than his mother. He had a tough tough start! I love this boy so deeply and I think I can't bear the pain of admitting this has to be his story. I am coming to terms and have had time to process much of it, but I ache for all he has to accept. He is such a STRONG and GENTLE young boy that I know he will have the courage to use it for good, but still he will have to face it. And I ache! Selfish as it may be this is how I have had to handle it for 12 months. I am so excited to have been Malachi's momma for longer than he was in the care center now. I love that he calls out for me now and cries when I walk away. I love this boy! I owe his momma all of the care and strength I can impart to him. I would want her to be proud. I giggle as I see him chow spicy food, knowing this love comes from her. I often wonder as I gaze in those brown eyes that have no end if they are from her. I know that she has had to sacrifice in the greatest of way and that is why we have this amazing son now. I ache over that! So tonight was a new beginning for me as we printed off those pictures. I am facing the future with my new two year old in tow thankful to be his momma. Happy 2nd Birthday My Precious Child Who Shines Like the Sun!
Monday, March 9, 2009
She turned 8 today. I am really having a hard time with her growing so quickly.
Last year we celebrated her birthday in Ethiopia at the Hilton and the kids were able to go swimming. Then at dinner they did not have cake but brought out an entire pineapple with a candle for her. Hard to believe that was a year already.
Rebekah is now out of her carseat. Four down one to go! We also started out our morning with our traditional Krispy Kreme. Then Aser and I stole her away from school for lunch. Such special times one on one! She made her own ice cream cake with grandma this year. The pushed all of the dogs inside of the cake--- it was a hit:)
I have said this before and wish I had added Joy onto her name. She is such a smile in my day and she gives me constant hugs and laughs. She is growing up and I hope to celebrate many many more birthdays with her.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
ps-- I went to the ENT today and will have a CT scan on Friday morning. So there really is no news, but did have a stern warning against chewing any gum as it is having wide spread damage. I had no idea! I will be so happy when this is over.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Today I met with two of my friends from high school after 22 years. It is so hard to believe that much time has flown. We picked up right where we left off though and talked for over 3 hours before I realized how late it was... We met again through Facebook. This would be the upside of our high tech world:)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I am trying to pace myself this week. Aser will be coming home on Saturday-- for good!!! We made a hard decision to have him come home as he has been working out of state for 5 months now and it is getting harder and not easier. We know this may look reckless to some, but there is the faith piece that has brought me to my knees asking God for a JOB here in Oregon. We just did not think we could do this any longer and the kids need their daddy home. This momma needs her man!!!
This rainbow was just what I needed today. It has been a heavy day and I pulled into my garage and happened to see this peek out of the dark clouds and I whispered, " Thank you God!" I have had a tooth that is causing much pain and so I went to the dentist on Monday to find out what was wrong. The dentist was very quiet after my films and then told me that I have a sinus infection, but there is a tumor like thing on my root and he has not seen anything like this before. I am a bit emotional as of late with the word TUMOR--ugh!!!! He sent my records to a specialist and then I got a call that I had to actually go and see him today. He told me my tooth pain is from a lovely tooth needing a root canal ( I could only hear dollar "chu-ching" sounds as we have no dental insurance). I wish this was all, but he said it was actually a tumor or polyp in my sinus cavity. I will now move on and see an ENT next week. I will be so happy to know what I am dealing with and am trying to stay away from google searches.. those can make you crazy.
So tomorrow I will have more lovely dental pictures to post from a dental chair, but no worries you will not be able to hear the drill!!!
I hope to see more rainbows in coming days--
The coffee beans are from a year ago actually. I brought them home with me from Ethiopia. I know that sounds so old, but I have savored the distinct smell and taste of this coffee this week as we are walking down memory lane from one year ago meeting our precious Malachi.